Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
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