Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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