no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
This toilet bowl is my home.
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