is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
