im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize