No, drunk sperm still make babies.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
