I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
