I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Do vagina's smell?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
