ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize