That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
