IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize