There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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