life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I deserve this hangover.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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