Me. At least after what I've been through.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
