i barfeds in our rink
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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