Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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