It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So vagazzling was a success
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
