she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
