Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
