Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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