carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
