dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
