I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
