so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize