awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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