Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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