i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
