i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
