omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize