even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
