she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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