I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
