you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
