I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
