we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
3 2 1 whiskey
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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