Dual....:-)
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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