In the future we'll all be gay
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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