wanna go halves on a baby?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
