So drunk its hurt
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
