First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
