If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
