Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
