i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
