so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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