This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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