my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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