I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
