get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
