So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
