Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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