woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
