We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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