Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize