CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
