me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize