haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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