This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
