The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
