i always forget guys have bellybuttons
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i believe in u and ur pee
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
