Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
